Knappnytt och vilande blogg

Då jag befinner mig i fjärran land ett tag framöver kommer uppdatering av denna blogg ske mer än sporadiskt en tid framöver. Som plåster på såren slänger jag in ett avsnitt av knappnytt.

Hybris

Kära läsare! Tillåt mig att presentera veckans förmodligen mest korkade uttalande. Ett uttalande som inte bara är aningen överdrivet utan även tyder på att personen som gjorde uttalandet befinner sig långt borta från verkligheten. Denna person behöver allvarligt hjälp att justera sin självbild. Uttalandet lyder som följer:

- Jag är utan tvekan den mest förföljda människan i hela världshistorien och i hela mänsklighetens historia

Osama efter 9/11, Mengele efter det andra världskriget eller varför inte Jesus då det begav sig bör ha varit relativt förföljda med. Men vad vet jag. Han påstår hur som helst vidare att han "är [] den bästa premiärminister som står att finna i dag."

Om ni 2015 tar upp ett lexikon och slår upp ordet "Hybris" kommer ni med stor sannolikhet finna en bild liknande denna nedan.



Silvio Berlusconi, Italiens premiärminister. För att citera Capt E. Blackadder: "Sir, have you ever visited a planet called earth?"

Knappnytt

Så jävla rätt. Hade inte kunnat säga det bättre själv...


OSS och svenska myndigheter

För ett tag sedan fick jag tag i OSS Manual for simple sabotage. OSS var, som många kanske vet, Office of Stragegic Services och föregångaren till den amerikanska underrättelsetjänsten CIA. Hur som haver så utbildade denna organisation exempelvis vanliga människor i att göra motstånd mot ockupationsmakter, bland annat genom denna manual. Manualen i sin helhet är mycket underhållande läsning och rekommenderas varmt. Det roliga är att det är så enkla saker att de inte kommer att uppmärksammas som sabotage, exempelvis uppmanas tågpersonal att vid transport av soldater servera dålig mat, köra ryckigt, ropa ut alla stationer i högtalarna – i synnerhet nattetid, kontrollera biljetterna efter midnatt, kräva jämna pengar samt byta lappar på bagage och mycket mer.

Det absolut mest underhållande stycket är samtidigt det mest tragiska. Det stycket avhandlar sabotage i myndigheter och organisationer och känns skrämmande bekant ifrån möten med allsköns myndigheter och organisationer i landet, bland annat Försäkringskassan, Arbetsförmedling med flera. Nedan följer det kapitlet i sin helhet. Läs och känn igen er i myndighetssverige:

(11) General Interference with Organisations and Production
(a) Organizations and Conferences


(1) Insist on doing everything through "channels." Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.
(2) Make "speeches." Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your "points" by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate "patriotic" comments.
(3) When possible, refer all matters to committees, for "further study and consideration." Attempt to make the committees as large as possible — never less than five.
(4) Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.
(5) Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.
(6) Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.
(7) Advocate "caution." Be "reasonable" and urge your fellow-conferees to be "reasonable" and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.
(8) Be worried about the propriety of any decision — raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon.

(b) Managers and Supervisors

(1) Demand written orders.
(2) "Misunderstand" orders. Ask endless questions or engage in long correspondence about such orders. Quibble over them when you can. (3;) Do everything possible to delay the delivery of orders. Even though parts of an order may be ready beforehand, don't deliver it until it is completely ready.
(4) Don't order new working materials until your current stocks have been virtually exhausted, so that the slightest delay in filling your order will mean a shutdown.
(5) Order high-quality materials which are hard to get. If you don't get them argue about it. Warn that inferior materials will mean inferior work. (6) In making work assignments, always sign out the unimportant jobs first. See that the important jobs are assigned to inefficient workers of poor machines.
(7) Insist on perfect work in relatively unimportant products; send back for refinishing those which have the least flaw. Approve other defective parts whose flaws are not visible to the naked eye.
(8) Make mistakes in routing so that parts and materials will be sent to the wrong place in the plant.
(9) When training new workers, give incomplete or misleading instructions.
(10) To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.
(11.) Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.
(12) Multiply paper work in plausible ways. Start duplicate files.
(13) Multiply the procedures and clearances involved in issuing instructions, pay checks, and so on. See that three people have to approve everything where one would do.
(14) Apply all regulations to the last letter. 

(c) Office Workers

(1) Make mistakes in quantities of material when you are copying orders. Confuse similar names. Use wrong addresses.
(2) Prolong correspondence with government bureaus.
(3) Misfile essential documents.
(4) In making carbon copies, make one too few, so that an extra copying job will have to be done.
(5) Tell important callers the boss is busy or talking on another telephone.
(6) Hold up mail until the next collection.
(7) Spread disturbing rumors that sound like inside dope.

(d) Employees

(1)
Work slowly. Think out ways to increase the number of movements necessary on your job: use a light hammer instead of a heavy one, try to make a small wrench do when a big one is necessary, use little force where considerable force is needed, and so on.
(2) Contrive as many interruptions to your work as you can: when changing the material on which you are working, as you would on a lathe or punch, take needless time to do it. If you are cutting, shaping or doing other measured work, measure dimensions twice as often as you need to. When you go to the lavatory, spend a longer time there than is necessary. Forget tools so that you will have to go back after them.
(3) Even if you understand the language, pretend not to understand instructions in a foreign tongue.
(4) Pretend that instructions are hard to understand, and ask to have them repeated more than once. Or pretend that you are particularly anxious to do your work, and pester the foreman with unnecessary questions.
(5) Do your work poorly and blame it on bad tools, machinery, or equipment. Complain that these things are preventing you from doing your job right.
(6) Never pass on your skill and experience to a new or less skillful worker.
(7) Snarl up administration in every possible way. Fill out forms illegibly so that they will have to be done over; make mistakes or omit requested information in forms.
(8) If possible, join or help organize a group for presenting employee problems to the management. See that the procedures adopted are as inconvenient as possible for the management, involving the presence of a large number of employees at each presentation, entailing more than one meeting for each grievance, bringing up problems which are largely imaginary, and so on.
(9) Misroute materials.
(10) Mix good parts with unusable scrap and rejected parts.


Knappnytt om prostitution


Vardaglig betraktelse

Tidningen "TVGuiden" kostar fem kronor i butik men i motsats till de flesta tidningar så skyltar de inte med extrapris om man prenumererar, dvs förbinder sig att köpa ett visst antal nummer. I nämnda tidning ligger det nämligen en lite lapp som skyltar med att om man prenumererar på tio nummer så kommer detta att kosta enbart 69 kronor, 19 kronor mer än vid lösnummerköp. Är det obefogat självförtroende eller en stor tillit till människans lathet som ligger bakom det knepet, måntro?



Tidningen är för övrigt inte värd fem kronor. En ytterligare betraktelse får ni helt gratis; nyhetsvärdet i artiklarna i denna tidning och aftonbladet/expressens är närapå lika högt.


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